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Sabtu, 29 Oktober 2016

Sweet Nightmare (Short Story)



Meeting with friends that we never have met for a long time is really something. We can see how they change from the past. They look really happy to meet up again with their old friends, although I do not know what they feel inside. Is the compliment that they said is sincere? Oh… why should I think something like this? Yeah because I am the one who are not really happy to see them again, to have such a small talk. And here I am, in the college that I’ve studied for four years to attend reunion. I do not want to meet them again actually. I do not want to see their face, I do not want to hear their voice, I do not want to stand around them. Because they just remind me with that person. Because they will bring me back to those days. No… not again... because it is really hurt when this feeling happen again. It feels like I could cry my heart out just by remembering her smile, her face, everything about her. This song, the song that I am listening now, the song that I love so much until I could listen it for 30 times everyday, the song that we used to listen in the college park under the frangipani tree, the song that could bring all those memories. I always thinking of you in my mind each day. Why the world did not agree with our relationship? Do you know that I really miss you… if I could just see you right now…
 ---
The corridor was already so quiet, feels like there was no living creature around me. Okay… twenty meters more. I walked in a hurry, but I was trying not to run. My heart beat arrogantly, I had to fight with this feeling. The scenes of horror film that I’ve ever watched appearing in my mind. My vision was just straight, although the corner of my eyes still could see the empty dark classrooms. It was already 11.10 PM when my friend and I finished making assignment. Poor me when realized that I parked my motorcycle in the basement where no one of my friends parked there. But it’s okay, it’s okay, I’ve passed the corridor, and now I could see the lobby which usually full of students who making assignment or waiting something was empty till I could hear my breath. Luckily the lamp was still on, I could not believe what would I do if the lamp was off. Either I could not go back to the corridor nor go through this way. But thanks God anyways and for the security of this campus to let the lamp on.
Okay, I walk naturally, trying not being panic, there’s nothing to worry about. Deep in my heart, I was praying to God that I could arrive in the basement safely. I heard sound like there is something fall. Oh my goodness, my key! When I looked back, there was someone walking toward myself. I am  little bit surprise but I also felt relieve at the same time knowing that there was someone who also be here. She looked like a boy with short emo style, but of course everyone will not being mistaken to say that she is a boy. I just gave a small smile to her then turn around after picked my key. When suddenly she called me which made me to turn around again.
 “Hey”
“Y-yes? Are you talking to me?” I asked while seeing around and releasing that there were just both of us here. I looked at her, she was walking closer to me.
 “This is yours right? It just felt from you bag. Do you know that your bag is unzipped?” she said and then gave me a red note book which was mine indeed. I had not said ‘thanks’ to her, she just walked away going down through the stairs. Who was she? She must be a student in here, but I never met her before. I looked at my bag, and she was right, my bag was unzipped. After zipped my bag, I went downstairs to the basement.
 The next day I woke up early because there was AB class. I also should go to Fotocopy to print an assignment. It was already 7.15, I should be hurry if I don’t want to be late. After I finished dressing up, I checked once again my bag to make sure that all the important things were already in my bag. I arrived on class five minutes late, but fortunately the lecturer also came late at that time. I usually sat in the front seat, but because it’s already seated by the other students then I sat at the back. I looked around the class, observing the whole class to find my friend, Windy. When I looked at my right side, there was a girl who looked familiar in my vision. I thought for while, trying to remember who she is. Oh yeah… she was the girl who got my note book yesterday. By the way, I forgot to say thanks to her then it was a great time to say that.
 “Hay” I said while smiling to her. She looked at me with a confused expression.
“Don’t you remember me? We met yesterday, you know, the note book…?” Her expression changed, and she smiled back at me.
“Oow, yeah… I am so sorry, I just have daydreaming in this early morning” she said while chuckled. “By the way, thanks for yesterday, for the note nook.” I said. When I wanted to continue the small talk, the lecturer came to the class.
 Did you know why I always chose to sit in the front? It was because I could force myself to concentrate to the lesson. The students at the back were really noisy, they seemed like have no feeling of guilty to chit chat with the students next to him while the others were trying hard to listening the lecture. At that time, I felt the boyish girl next to me seems like observing me. Maybe she was looking at someone else.
 “This must be hard for you.” I looked at the right side where that voice came from.
“You always sat in the front, but know you sat here. Don’t worry about the lecture, what the lecturer said is already written on the book.”
 “Yeah, I know… but the explanation makes me more understand.” I replied and gave a look at her. I found that she was staring at me. So she was really looking at me from the first time?
“What? Is there something wrong?”
“Your name is Luna, right?” I was a little bit shocked when she said my name. How did she knew my name, I thought that I am not a popular student in this university.
 “Mmm… yeah… how did you know my name anyway? And… wait… you also knew that I always sat in the front, did you stalk me? And you also did that yesterday?”
 “Your name, I read it in your notebook.” She said. I looked at my notebook, and she was right again, there’s my name written in the right corner of the book cover.
“I’ve never stalk you, and about yesterday it was just a chance, it’s just happen like accident…” she said while again, she was staring at me but now she was looked at my eyes. I prevented the eye contact for a second, then looked at her again. My heart was pounding when I knew that she was still looking at my eyes.
 “Oh… okay… And how about you? I mean, your name?” I asked.
 “Ree… just call me Ree.” She said.
“Are you sure? But that’s not what’s written there.” I said while pointing a paper of assignment on her table.
 “Oh… This is my real name, but I prefer people call me Ree.”
 “Oow… I see.”
 “How about you? What if you can change your name, what will be your name then?” she asked. “What if I could change my name? It is a silly question. Mmm… Aster? Yeah… I want to change my name become Aster.”
 “Aster?”
“Yeah… you know, if someone asked me to choose between a dozen of rose and an aster, I’ll choose the aster, especially the white one. That flower is really beautiful, you know. It’s like symbolized brave and charm. I just like it more than others kind of flower.”
 “Okay, I’ll call you aster then!” I was just fascinated with her, with the conversation that we had, and with the strange feeling inside. Finally the class ended, and the lecturer asked the students to hand in the assignments. I stand up and went in front of the class to submit the assignment.
 “See you again, Aster.” I looked at the source of the voice. She was Ree, and before I could reply, she was already out of sight.
 “Hey… who are you looking at?" asked Windy who was suddenly clinging my right hand.
 “Do you know the students called Ree?” I asked her while we went out of the class.
 “Ree? No… I never hear that name. Is that a boy? Is he school here?” Suddenly she stopped and grabbed my hands. “Wait… That’s really a boy, right? Oh… finally my friend whom I know for 8 years found her prince…”
 “Ishh… No, she is a girl… and don’t ever say such kind of that words again!” I said sarcastically, but she just smiled and teased me again instead.
 Time flies so fast. Ree and me become closer, we often went to campus together, and had lunch together in cafetaria. She is different compared with other people that close to me. She always listened to me. She taught me that life is not so tough, she made feel alive and did something that I’d never done before. We often went travelling to places which no many people know. I felt comfortable when I am with her. But there was something strange in my heart every time she looked at my while she was listening to me, every time she smiled at me, every time she tried to conform myself. At first, I thought that it was just because she was really good and nice to me and I felt really grateful to having a friend like her. But after many days passed, my feeling to her was more than a friend, more than best friend. I knew it was such a stupid feeling, a stupid thought, and it was really crazy. ‘I am a normal person, I am a normal girl, I am not kind of that people, no…’ those words seemed running around my head. I avoid her every time I saw her in the campus from that day. I often absent from the class that we took together. But it just made me more hurt and the feeling in my heart seemed did not disappear, whereas it was getting bigger and bigger.
 It was 7.15 PM, I sat on a bench under frangipani tree while listening my favorite song entitled “Never Had A Dream Come True” by S Club 7. I saw the sky above which was full of stars. Oh damn it… looking at the sky just remind me with Ree when we slept under the night sky in the football field. Why it’s happen to me? I did not even understand and believe that I am a lesbian. I felt that there was someone who came toward me, I looked at that person. I shocked when I knew who that person, I was going to stand up but she was already standing in front of me.
“Hey, what’s up? It’s weird, you know… you seemed like hiding from me. Do I have any mistakes?” she asked. She was still on his position, standing in front of me, and now she was holding my shoulder. My face blushed and my eyes were shaking and full with tears but I tried to hold it. I told her. I told her everything, I told her why I was being like avoiding her, I told that I have such feeling to her. And at that night, I felt all the problems in my shoulder were gone.
 The next day I went to the college as usual. After I arrived at the college, everyone seemed looking at me while whispering with people next to them. I took a glance on myself to see is there something wrong with me. It was weird, but I did not care about it because I was fine. The odd atmosphere was getting bigger after I entered the classroom and sat on the chair. I saw my friend Windy approaching me with a strained face. She sat beside me and told me about why did the situation here was so strange.
“There’s a rumor that said you and Rachel, you know… Ree, has such kind of relationship, you are a lover. Please tell me that it’s just a bullshit rumor…” I felt all of my senses were not working at that time.
Within a half day, that rumor was spread over whole college. The feeling of fear and afraid filled my mind. I was confused, I wanted to cry, but I could not do anything. I felt nothing. I was at the roof top of the campus building with Ree. We did not talk, but I knew she wanted to say something. She hold it, she knew that it’s just useless at that time. After about a month, the rumor did not talk any more by people. My family asked me to date with a man to against that I am a lesbian. They just meant to do that. And I could not do anything but just followed their plan. I never met Ree again from that time, even in the class that we took together. She disappeared with no any clue.
 ---
 The situation of this campus is still the same. The difference is just in the building which has been improved. I walk around seeing every corner of the college. I stop near a tree, a frangipani tree. I sit on the bench under the tree. The bench is still the same as 7 years ago. I look at the bench and observe it carefully, reading every word written there. This is must be a historical bench. There are so many someone’s name written on it. My eyes widen when I read words which like a massage that said “to Aster, I am so sorry, I’ll go.. go to the place where you cannot see me. You are right, you should be hiding and avoid me from the first time. Such stupid me… you have to live in normal, live in happiness and peace, just forget me, I am just your bad dream. But honestly, I am really happy to know you. I want to see you again. But… I hope it won’t ever come true. I don’t want to bring more nightmares to you. I am so sorry” My heart is aching. Is it really from her? Is she wrote this to me? Oh damn it… who else will have such a name called Aster. I can't hold my tears. Yes… I have lived in normal. I’ve married with a handsome man. I’ve already have children. I am happy. But… you ask me to forget you? I think I can never ever do that. Yes…Because you are my nightmare who can came into my dream anytime. Like the song that we always listen together, I think a part of me will always be with you, my sweet nightmare.

This story is a short story I made when I joined a writing competition at campus. I wanted to make something unique, and this just popped up in my mind. Many people now are trying to be more open minded about girlxgirl or boyxboy relationship. I think that inspired me to write this story. Thanks for reading :)

pic: www.pexels.com

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